Quixote in Ramadi by M.B. Wilmot

Author:M.B. Wilmot [Wilmot, M.B.]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Published: 2013-09-01T00:00:00+00:00

PATIENT PROFILE – CASE # 7 CHILDHOOD ABUSE

Around 1600 hrs, a Soldier from an infantry company had come by to see CPT Jack since he was referred to him by his unit. The Soldier informed me that he bumped into CPT Jack on his way to chow and that CPT Jack told him he’d be back after lunch. I began chatting with the Soldier and he started to open up. I asked him if it was okay that we talk since he has already told me him story. When CPT Jack returned, I let him know that I’d take the case if he didn’t mind since the Soldier had already disclosed quite a bit of information to me.

The Soldier informed me that he was raped repeatedly by his uncle from ages four to eight. For some reason, even after years of having his life in order and joining the military, that previous trauma was resurfacing.

“I can’t tell the other guys in my company, I really can’t. They see me as a ‘man’s man.’ I don’t think I even know if I like women. I find that I’m attracted to men. I don’t know what to do and if this is right,” the Soldier said.

This certainly struck a chord with me. As a child, and during visits to Alabama to include the time that we moved there, my aunt’s husband, Spencer, had sexually assaulted me between the ages four and six. My grandparents initially insisted that I was lying when I told my mother at the age of eight – until Spencer was caught peeping into his neighbors’ windows. My parents believed me, as did some of my other relatives, even those who didn’t seem to like us, but my grandparents did not. No one reported this to the police and Spencer ended up taking off to another state, never to be seen again. Instead of worrying about my well-being, my grandparents were more concerned with protecting my aunt’s feelings – meaning no one was allowed to talk about it. My parents retrained themselves from going after Spencer, but if I were in their shoes, I don’t know if I’d do the same.

He had a bizarrely similar experience, but he told one family member who immediately called him a liar and thus protected the perpetrator. After the Soldier expressed his worries, fears, and concerns, I chimed in, “There’s nothing wrong with being gay. You don’t choose who you love. If you love a man, you love a man. If you love a woman, you love a woman. You are an adult; it’s your life and your decision. Nothing is wrong with that. However, what your uncle did, as an adult to a child, is deplorable and people who exploit and harm children are the ones who are wrong. What happened to you was wrong, but you survived and now you are a leader. And that’s the point. Whether you’re gay or straight, a good leader is a good leader. And you are a good leader.

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